"It's a funerary text," says Rev. Charles "Chuck" Lester. "And it's of the devil. We are not going to wimp out like certain other persons in Florida did with the Quran. We get it right in Texas. You can take that to the bank. And we're going to do it on Halloween."
The Tibetan Book of the Dead is also known as The Liberation Through Hearing During the Intermediate State, and also as The Bardo Thodol.
The small church has gathered nine copies so far and plans to soak them in water overnight on October 30, before using an industrial grade microwave oven to individually cook each copy for twenty minutes or more, rendering them useless.
"We're using water to illustrate the power of Christianity over pagan writings of heathens. Christ performed miracles with water for a reason – to show his dominion over spirit. Everyone knows water is symbolic of the spirit," said Sparky Hightower, a deacon at Wink Fourth Baptist Church.
When asked what the microwaves represent, Sparky paused and said, "The microwaves would probably be like the Holy Ghost."
Asked if any Buddhists were protesting, Rev. Lester said that thus far, it was disturbingly quiet in that regard.
"I don't understand it. It's like they don't even care! One Buddhist gentleman called and said that the idea of liquefying a funerary text was something the Buddha would have done himself as an object lesson. You can't talk with these people. They have no common sense. Maybe they'll be more vocal when they see their satanic book of verses poured into a pickle jar and used for papier-mâché projects."
Actor Richard Gere, a well known Buddhist in Hollywood, was asked his opinion of the boiling of the book.
"Perhaps they should put the resulting paste over their eyes and in their ears. I mean, they are in acquisitioned denial already, right? So go full out. Deny thought and any progression of thought."
The final word came from his holiness the Dalai Lama who provided a statement at a press conference in Los Angeles:
"As long as they don't microwave the Buddhists themselves, we will be pretty much okey dokey pokey, yes?" he said, his comments greeted by laughter from the reporters.
Then in a more serious tone he clarified: "A book is a book is a book. But the soul, the spirit, it never dies. It moves forever."